iv'e been awake for 5 days, i can't sleep, i'm hyped up on coffee, while everyone's asleep i silently sob, the thoughts of everything creep up on me sometimes, Lucas is still in shock over the whole me killing the fortune lady, he tried to stay up with me but i got him to just go to sleep, i'm driving still, i convince myself to stay awake, my subconscious tempts me into the darkness of my dreams but i won't follow. too painful.
iv'e come up with a system, if i fall asleep even for a second i cut my arm, the pain keeps me awake, proves i'm alive and can feel.
against my better judgment, Defying Gravity entered my mind and i hummed the tune quietly. i hated my life but i couldn't bare it if i went back home, why do i continue to call it home?
my new name is Anya, Anya Stevens. it's not fancy but it works, Lucas has taken the name James Valley, again, not flashy.
i have large dark circle under my eyes but i don't care, i don't have the strength to care.
our next switch is in an hour, the roads are clear and iv'e always been good at multi tasking, hence the blogging and driving simultaneously.
when we get to Arlington we plan on going to that rave and stopping animal testing, but i'll watch out for the- omg!
i just saw this video! omg! a girl just jumped off a sixty foot ferris wheel!? how did i not- oh yeah, i haven't really been looking at the latest news, i sent the vid out to to everyone on my friends list, i had to, i loved to gossip.
oh yeah, Kate Ramone was on that list, she'll never see it, i bet she would have gotten a kick out of this. so sad.
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